Brian Yalung’s Compositions

All it took was a simple text message. “Miss U” was all that was needed and alas, there she was again. I cut short my practice session with the boys, just went through some drills and review of plays for our last game on Sunday. Around 8:45 p.m., I rushed to my car and picked up the angel of my dreams. Well, I must admit, her sight was something more than extravagant, being excited and all to be able to see her after two weeks of isolation due to work and stuff. Took her out to dinner as usual, asking her what she wanted to eat, and we ended up eating at a nearby fast food store near my place before I dropped her off at her house.

The topic of the night was more on finances and relationships. I know I don’t have much of a chance since she is currently committed to a guy for 2 years and well, I didn’t really mind. She was having problems with her finances and I simply advised her of things on what to do, and if there was any way I could help her out. Being technically single, I even offered to take care of some of her monthly needs, but she politely told me why I should do such things. I simply smiled and said, well, I just don’t want her to look worried all the time. She asked me what I wanted in return, I said nothing. I am a person that doesn’t believe in things that need to have something in return, I am over that from my previous failed marriage. Why do I do it? Well, because I want to and it makes me happy to help her out, not withstanding that I really do care for her a lot.

Funny thing, she thought I would expect something or ask for something in return. It never crossed my mind really. I just said, based on how she knew me, 5 years and counting, in any instance when I helped her out, I never asked for anything in return, nor forced her. It has been 4 years now, and I have never forced anyone to love me. I often left an open mind on things, even though most people would say I would be crazy. But love shouldn’t really have any value nor price over it. It should be done wholeheartedly for the purpose of concern for this person. I often believed money cannot buy love, and till this day, I still believe it doesn’t, unless of course people need money that much like my last wife who left me in lieu for another guy because he was earning from doing gigs abroad. But then again, the level of satisfaction that people have may vary, and my estranged wife and her family happened to worship wealth above everything else.

Anyway, as I told her, I have decided already not to test the waters, having tried it out 3 to 4 times to start over. My decision to settle down with someone who I have known for quite some time still persists. If it doesn’t materialize, so be it. I don’t mind at all being alone since I have been keeping myself busy doing multitasking work that eats up my time from morning till evening. For my precious one, there is no pressure whatsoever, do as you please but all I want is to see you happy. I am already satisfied with seeing you and being with you if that is what my choices are. It is true I still pray that someday you will be mine. But if it is not really my destiny, the choice may be the wrong one. To me, the choice of a person is usually the sincere one, right or wrong, it is something that fate had in store for you all along.

In parting, just be happy with who you have and where you are. I know my feelings will never change, pretty sure of it for once in my life. While friendship is all you have to offer, perhaps it is something that I will forever be destined with as far as our relationship is concerned…

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 19th, 2006 at 10:45 am and is filed under Love and Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.