Brian Yalung’s Compositions

I will admit and I told the players from both teams who chose me to be their coach that I do not have the technical knowledge of coaching and all I can offer is proper mixing and motivation. Honestly, I never excelled as a basketball player. I contented myself with being a role player; doing the dirty work and making my teammates look good instead of me. This was my role ever since high school, never really gave the star player complex much thought. All I cared about was contributing and of course getting my own basketball uniform. I had the build, the height and the basics of defense to lean on. Scoring was never my cup of tea. It was more about the little things, hustle and the dirty work. I even became an enforcer and looked eye to eye with players who were aiming to hurt my friends.

Anyway, my competitive playing days were hampered since the year 2000. One by one, my injuries took its toll from continuous playing ball, and I guess it’s safe to say that I have burned myself out playing ball here and there. I remember a time where I played in three leagues at once, some even scheduled on the same playing day. Please note that this did not include scrimmages and training sessions. Injuries to my ankles, wrists, shoulders and my knees (I am a candidate for ACL-Anterior Cruciate Ligament). Actually, I just told myself, I will just wait for my knee to give way before completely calling it quits. I have no plans of having them surgically repaired since I am no professional athlete to do so. Oh and lest I forget, last year I suffered another injury while playing for the Ateneo Graduate School of Business, a pulled hamstring and tendonitis again on my right shoulder. Well, as it was, it just showed my usual routine of not being able to finish a tournament without having any injury. So what else was new?

Going back, I accepted the coaching job for my young players at Xavier Alumni Basketball League since I wanted to get a feel of how it was to be directing them and teaching them the basics. But I cautioned them not to expect too much from me, as technical knowledge is my waterloo here. I focused on camaraderie and conditioning. Shooting drills is my cup of tea, some of which I picked up from past playing days with teams especially the Ateneo team last year. The result so far has been over achieving. Our main goal of reaching the quarterfinals was done last Sunday, with a whopping 25 point win over the defending champs. Even I was surprised at the guys play, and we will be going up against a team that has a twice to beat advantage this Sunday. As my player said, each game is a last game and pressure is mounting with every game that we win. No thanks to Typhoon Milenyo which forced us to call of practice, the odds are stacked up all the more. Now I am left with studying the possibilities and adjustments our opponent will do this Sunday. We beat them last time out by only 3 points, and I am expecting the worst. But keeping my faith in the boys, I know they will pull through. We are 4-0 since I took over the coaching chores and I am hopeful it holds up. Fingers-crossed!

Then there is the La Salle Alumni Basketball Team. The team is composed of mixed players, both old and new, most of which I have played with the past years. We won the first two games handily, the first by 40 points, and the second by 30 points. We had our first real taste of challenge when we barely escaped with a 3 point winning margin. We met the same team last Wednesday and won by 15 to 16 points. On Sunday after my first game with the XABL team, we will be facing one of the competitive teams and again this is racking up my nerves. Hopefully the guys will respond as well. We are on a 4-0 record since the start of the league. I hope we can extend the winning run so we can be ready for the next game as well, a team toting the same record as us, no loss!

Which brings me to this point; does winning mean I am a good coach? I often give the credit to my players because they are on the hard court. I just direct them and shuffle the men as effectively as I can. Sometimes, I question myself, when will my luck run out. I know much of this can be attributed to luck and motivation but as far as technical knowledge, I will admit, it rattles me at times but I don’t show it. Whatever it is, I hope it keeps up. For both teams we have barely reached our goal. I guess my only sigh of relief will be when we finish the tourney on a high note.

Just last week, I was offered the coaching position of my former team, the Ateneo Graduate School of Business. I politely declined and just offered to be an assistant. I am not ready to burn egos with former UAAP players and ex-pros. The last thing I would want is to get into conflict with them, most of which are my friends who may look at me in the wrong way. Coaching at this level is enough, and for another notch is something I am not ready to do as of now. Besides, my hyperacidity during games keeps on acting up, showing the amount of pressure I get each time I call the shots.

This afternoon, a player of mine on the current XABL team asked me if I could coach. I told him yes. It was easy for me to say yes since I know the players will have respect for me. Respect is something one thing I don’t want to lose and is perhaps why I politely said no to the Ateneo Graduate School of Business basketball team coaching position. For this phase, I would rather learn than lead them. There is simply too much talent and egos to handle, something I do not think I can handle.

Most people would disagree. Loving someone who may not feel the same nor love you at all is a total waste of time. As usual, known for being the person who defies odds and takes his joy with mere presence and companionship without anything in return, here I am, at it again. Falling for what I know will be close to impossible to happen, I guess with my state right now, not really looking for someone to be there for me at the moment, this is the closest thing I can get to loving someone and considering her dear to my heart.

I have been there. I am used to falling for people who are already committed or have fallen for someone else. But much as it would look dismaying, I really don’t care at all if she would acknowledge what I really feel for her. Telling her already my real feelings, even saying those sweet three words, feeling hurt would be as stupid as saying I love you. But the point is being able to say it for perhaps the last time, since girls are known for shying away from men who have fallen for them to preserve their existing relationship. I can respect that and while it would be heart-breaking for the average man, this is a situation wherein a person is really left with no choice. But as most people would tell me, it would be better to let the person know how you feel rather than not being able to say it at all.

Most people have different views on how to categorize love. I, for one, would rather show it by seeing the person happy, with or without her in my arms. It’s the best way to prove to her that you are not after anything else but her happiness, and we all know that love is a branch of happiness or vice versa. Such a scenario would draw raves and boos for sure, but for every person, a unique principle separates most of us, and this is what I chose to do.

I told her I would wait. She would tell me that my efforts would be futile. So I just simple answered back, well, then so be it if my efforts are for naught. I have no place to go, nothing else to do, having embarked on multi jobs to keep my mind on personal goals and fulfillment, being alone when everything is accomplished is my choice and possibility.

Personally, I am satisfied with what I have proven so far and accomplished as well. I know my achievements and accomplishments may not be far fetched nor significant for any other person, but again, this depends on how we view life. Knowing her for quite some time, seeing her in good times and bad times, there is no other recourse for me but to have her in my arms someday. Should fate have other plans, I will simply accept it as a setback, the same way that I approach any undertaking today. But this I assure you if you are reading this, I am happy with the amount of time you give me and whatever your life has in store for you, I will always be there and smiling all the way and supporting you. It’s the best way for me to show you my sincerity and how much I care for you. For my personal agenda, seeing you and the people around me like my daughter and family is the only important thing in my life. Nothing more, nothing less…

The date…September 10, 2006. This is the day I would call the dream daytime spoiled by the nighttime. This day started out with an alumni league in Xavier School in San Juan. I was coaching a team composed of 2002 high school graduates competing in the current division 2 bracket of the annual Xavier Alumni Basketball League. Although the game was non-bearing, I had a personal grudge against the coach of the other team. Not really that I wanted to beat the lights out of him personally, but as I told my players, I would take on him one on one any day for a game of basketball, or maybe bowling if he knew how to play it. I am never known to back down for challenges, especially sports related ones.

It was a non-bearing contest. Win or lose, it would not matter. But being competitive, I naturally wanted to win. Balancing playing time and winning was stressful as it was but thanks to my players, the never let me down. What surprised me most was the fact that it was the second unit team that did all the work for us, leading all the way and finally winning by four points. There was an instance where they had led by 4, but my players quickly rose to the occasion and even out the score. Defense and maturity, these are what they showed, and for this I am thankful as we are now 3-0 since I started guiding this team. We ended up in the upper half of the standings and are now waiting for our next opponent in the quarterfinal stage.

After the game, I went home, had lunch with my daughter and played a bit of Ultima Online. Tried to get some short naps since it was also the opening of the La Salle Alumni Basketball League later in the afternoon. Now this was something I was worried about, because I know the level of competition and that it would be my first duty as official coach for a team of talented players. I set the call time at 5:30 p.m. to have everyone warm up. My main concern here was that we were 20 players and that I was only allowed to field in 15. I just decided to cross the bridge when I got there.

To my surprise, our opponent showed up with only 5 players. So this eased a bit of tension on my part. I started out strong with my best five. It was touch and go and it would only be a matter of time before fatigue would set in. It eventually did midway in the first quarter and this allowed me the luxury to substitute players as I deemed fit. There were 16 players on hand and one was surely to be benched. Unfortunately, I wasn’t aware of the shuffling of players, being focused on the game and I left out the most senior player as the lone one to be able to get into the game. When our margin reached 41 points, I looked around to find him no longer there. At the back of my mind I knew this guy was disappointed. I got pats on the back because of the good shuffling. It was a good win despite facing a lackluster team of only five players. Had they more people on hand, I knew I was in for a long night.

I texted this guy and apologized and promised to field him in the next game day. I asked for understanding since it is no joke to field in this number of players. The reply I got was not surprising but I myself became disappointed. Telling me that he should have stuck to his original plans of not playing this year despite my recurrent pleas for him to join the team really got me thinking. Did I do that much of a crime as not to field him in? Being the most senior, I thought he would understand. I guess I was wrong. Maturity and understanding does not come with age, it is really inherent. Talking to friends and loved ones eased out my disappointing evening. I was trying to find out if I did something wrong. I cherished winning all the games on that day, but it took only one person to take all that away from me. How unlucky can you get…. Oh well…